Losing it ~

In my mind, everything is right. But thats a tipical girl. But in my mind I do before i think. and look where its getting me. Im screwing up something i really love, something i faught for and won. I dont want to lose him and i dont want to fall asleep because im afraid that if i wake up, he wont be there. But ill understand if he wants to walk away and ill understand if he doesnt want to hold me no more. I wish there was something i can do to be able to hold him longer. I wish my mind wasnt so stupid !