Sufficated with myself

Have you ever felt so sufficated with yourself so much that you wanted to get out ?
Sometime i wish i could take these meds im on, and make everything go away. But would i regret that ? Right now, i dont think so. After a while of being told your not worth living, or youre dead to me you begin to believe it! Sometimes id like to just get so over dosed on these meds. I feel so stupid, the idea that I have to take meds ! I feel so fucked up ! Why? Because of my narsastistic bitch of a mother ! she had to just drink and do drugs when she was prego with me, Now i wish I wasnt even born !

Hello old friend.

I feel like I'm losing who I want to be. Everyone seems to have all these high expectations for me, when really I don't want to be who they want me to be. I love to write. I want to write as a career and I havent wrote in who knows how long. I feel like i'm losing my way. I don't even know who I am in highschool. Who are my friends ? Why am I all alone at lunch ? Where am I ? I don't know how to be something someone misses, but I don't even think who I am, I'd miss myself. What happened? I need me back. Highschool is changing me and im losing who i am and where i fit in.

Losing it ~

In my mind, everything is right. But thats a tipical girl. But in my mind I do before i think. and look where its getting me. Im screwing up something i really love, something i faught for and won. I dont want to lose him and i dont want to fall asleep because im afraid that if i wake up, he wont be there. But ill understand if he wants to walk away and ill understand if he doesnt want to hold me no more. I wish there was something i can do to be able to hold him longer. I wish my mind wasnt so stupid !

Be careful what you wish for, cause it just might come true!

I wish i could fall in love
I wish i could find the right guy
I wish he would just hold me knowing everything would be alright.
But guess what i found him, well i at least thought i did.
Everything ends in a heart break.
So ever little word he has said to me, was all a lie
"I want to marry you"
"I see myself with you for the rest of my life"
"I love talking to you and seeing"
All a lie.
It only takes a few words to my break my heart.
But guess what jackass, you cant break a broken heart !!
So my last words for you are F*ck you !!

Finally!

This were im at
im where i want to be
for once im not afraid of whats going to happen next
im caught up on what i needed done
i can say your love is where i want to be
im not scared of getting hurt
and with those three words..
i can finally say them and walk away..
knowing im finally happy.

Untitled

Before i fall to fast
kiss me quick, but make it last
keep it sweet
keep it slow
your love is where i want to be
you had me at hello
but i've realized how much it would hurt me
when you say goodbye
so let the future pass and dont let go
because i can honestly say you've been
on my mind since i woke up today.

Get the picture ?!

Shes not good enough
the time she puts in
the tears she holds
the pain that runs everywhere
its all for nothing
if only she could get the picture that her hard work and sweat
is for nothing. just for people to say it looks like crap.
the hard training she does and for what ?
to be told she cant compete because shes not good enough